i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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