How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
