Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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