Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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