So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
