doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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