so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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