11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
