I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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