Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We are all done wearing pants today
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize