I'm jealous of your bromance
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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