He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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