did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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