If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
