just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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