I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
