Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
