Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
