Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
