Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
