Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
