I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
