I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
