It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
