White coat. Heels.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
