She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
