She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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