Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
