girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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