Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
