i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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