so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
