What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
