so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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