i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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