1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
