But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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