he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It was like giving head to a cactus.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize