Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
