1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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