Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
