O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
