Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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