I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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