4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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