if you like me you must not know who I am
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
