I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
