I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
