well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
