I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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