i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
