i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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