Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize
