He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
