so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
