I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
