Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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