ya dads aren't the best wingmen
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
now i know why i became what i already was.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
