hotel room ftw
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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