Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Drake has all the answers
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
