Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You ate ashes out of my bong
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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