you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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