Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I would ride that face into the sunset
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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