You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
