i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
