Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
