i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
it glows. i had to have it.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
