"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
