Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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