You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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